What would it be like if you could start each day with a clean slate?
If you watched the movie “Groundhog Day,” Bill Murray’s character Phil had the opportunity to do that. Again, I ask you to imagine: What if you could start over, especially when something in your life is not going right?
If you have ever wished that you could be granted a ‘do-over,’ then I offer a four-step solution on how to have a Start Over Day. In other words, you get the chance to push the refresh button on your day.
Recently, I noticed there were some things that just were not working in my relationships, finances, and some professional situations. I wanted to figure out how to fix the issues, determine what I needed to do. But that became a process unbecoming. I realized I couldn’t figure out the current issues from my current perspective, so I declared this a “Start Over Day.”
Messages come to us from different sources: parents, teachers, bosses, people, strangers, best friends, pastors. We believe them. We look externally for answers to our internal need for approval. Yet, I felt that it was time for me to start over.
You can do this too.
I am not talking about discarding your life. I am offer the possibility to get rid of the parts that don’t work for you right now. The issue you are experiencing is not about other people causing problems or events outside of you. You and I have already had our journey through how things shape us. It is our thinking and perception we need to reshape! I do not believe it’s about fixing what’s broken, because you are not broken. Even if you feel broken, be encouraged that you are not. You are whole and valued and loved. You just need to start over.
Step 1: Take Inventory
If you wish you had a do-over, then obviously something is not going right. Ask yourself:
- What is not working for me?
Become the observer and not the wounded. Remember the wounds you are feeling are from old, past hurts not from current situations. It is not up to someone else to change behavior for you to feel better. It is your “start over,” not theirs.
- How long will I continue the behavior or situation that doesn’t work for me?
You have more control over your life and situation than you realize. You could choose to feel better right now, tomorrow, or years from now. Which time frame sound better for you?
- Am I looking after my business, personal, and spiritual lives with equal measure?
If you are neglecting your self-care or spending too much time on one facet of you complicated life, you could feel unworthy, or useless because of fatigue and overwhelm.
- Am I giving and not asking?
Many people tend to put themselves last. If you do that, you are like a bathtub that has the drain open while the water runs in. Doing this not only leads to exhaustion and overload, you also want to blame others for how you feel.
As you take personal stock of your current situation, focus more on what is working, because you want that positive energy to go into the reframing. This will benefit you when you hold your Start Over Day.
Step 2: Engage in Introspection
As I described, I became aware that several things in my life were not working as I hoped they would. It was this reflection that caused me to stop and ponder on what I could do about. This led to my declaration to have a Start Over Day.
The sad truth is that for most of us, we are so busy going from thing to thing, that we rarely invest the time to pause and ponder. For you to create a positive outcome pushing the refresh button, it is important to know where you are at now. Another reflection question is to ask,
- What am I doing or not doing to cause this situation?
You may not ever get satisfactory answer, yet it is to understand that you more control over all situations than you give yourself credit for. I believe that you and I have a hand in all the things that happen to us, both good and not so good.
Step 3: Visualize What You Want After the Refresh
One consistent action that help people to come up with a different and better frame of mind, is to engage in writing or drawing. Before you develop your own refresh solution, the next step is to allow your creative energies to develop a ‘picture’ of how different and better your situation could be. This could be as simple as drawing a blue sky with the sun shining down on you, to finding a picture of a pile of money and taping it above your computer, to writing a vision statement of what a better day looks like for you.
When you engage your brain in writing or drawing, you shift your mental energy, and alter your current state of mind. Be sure to write, draw, or find positive images that help you feel better about yourself and your life.
Step 4: Develop Your Next Steps
Now it is time to come up with a personalized Start Over Solution.
Your start over solution must come from you, from within. No one can write it for you. The starting point for this is to ask yourself a more reflection questions. Here are a few that I suggest.
- What can I do in the next few minutes that will make me feel better?
- Which of my positive traits can I use to get started?
- How do I want to feel by the end of today, and the end of this week?
- What can I be doing now that feels like progress or victory?
- What can I do today to nurture myself?
While it would benefit you to put this plan in writing, you may just simply want to go for a walk and think about your start over solution. Be sure commit to this plan. Then, in the words of Capt. Picard, “Make it so.”
You will discover that you feel better and you know exactly what to do. All because your started over!
I am dedicated to ensuring that every organization has quality leaders, at all levels. I turn the reluctant and reticent into capable and honorable leaders worth following. I develop High Road® Leaders who have beneficial impact and powerful influence in everything they touch.
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Ron Rael Leadership Provocateur, is a keynote speaker, consultant, and author.
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